Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
