He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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