This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It was confusing and full of hummus
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
