the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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