Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
