My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
