why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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