I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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