brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
