i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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