I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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