when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
