We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
