you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
cat food counts as protein by the way
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
