I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
