She is in my trunk
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
