If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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