Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize