what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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