Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
