Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
