PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
