like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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