she woke up with a sticky ear
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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