He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i drank out of a bidet.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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