she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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