...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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