what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
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She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
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Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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