i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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