I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Less talking, more tequila
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
