Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
