My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
