I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize