Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
