Me too!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
