saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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