I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
