he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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