And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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