im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
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Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
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He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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