You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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