im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize