I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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