Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Let's get the cat blown out
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
