if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
