Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
