the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
