I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
