He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
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Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
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I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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