i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
