Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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