I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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